Uncomfortable

They say you should do something that makes you feel uncomfortable every day. Do something that makes you nervous. Get outside your comfort zone.

What if doing that meant committing a year of your life? Getting up at 5:00 am. Saying no to that second drink...okay, sometimes more like third drink. Being so tired you crawl into bed right after you put your children to bed. Would you still do it?

It's not the commitment to running for me. I already have a marriage to it. But something about clicking that registration button when I sign up for a race. That's it. It's in stone. I have to train, at least attempt to...get in my hills, intervals, pace practice...long runs...no more flying or rather running by the seat of my pants. I'm committed. I have to show up and cowboy up. It makes me want to throw up.

Every click, every race...the distance doesn't matter...when I line up at the start just before the gun goes off, I feel like I'm going to lose my stomach.  Then, at some point during the race, when my glycogen stores start to empty, I think "Why do I do this, this is so uncomfortable? I hate this. Now I know I might vomit or my legs are going to snap. Volleyball never felt this bad, I should go back to it & screw this."

And then, I see the light..which differs depending on the race/distance/and how I"m feeling that day...but when I somehow pull it together to toughen up, pick it up, & forge through the pain, knowing it's about to end... I make it through and it does end....the pain...the uncomfortable pain ends, and I don't throw up or have my body snap in two. I am left with that kick ass feeling of accomplishing what felt like the impossible...I am filled with something that I cannot even describe with words...but those of you that race, you know what I'm talking about. And so, the love affair continues because soon, I will be baited for the next uncomfortable moment....