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What started as a little experiment in blogging has evolved into my renewed love for writing the raw, gritty truth. Running has always had so many parallels to life's ups and downs. As a new cancer survivor/fighter, running and writing has continued to be there for me in my quest to always move forward, always try to be better than yesterday. Find me: http://www.curetoday.com/community/kate or on facebook: running, cancer, and everything in between or on twitter: runliftbreathe

Thursday, August 1, 2013

If running is a metaphor for life...

If running is a metaphor for life….

Then, wow, is it kicking my ass today…talk about brutal. It was the usual early morning Thursday run…a long one…but on a lower mileage week, a mere 10 miles…awesome. I had worked in a couple rest days   already this week (thanks to the hotel wake-up call at 3am courtesy of “I have to pee Mom”). But today, I felt more rested this morning & ready to get to business.  I also had the  fortunate company of one of my running friends…the one who I aspire to be, knowing I’ll never come close to her talent. I could pick her brain & soak up all her knowledge from all the many marathons she has run (last one clocked in around 3 hours, 9 minutes.) She is badass & has a ton of experience.

And so off we go on another super humid morning…6am & it already felt like Florida. We head out & the chatting began…everything from what’s going on with the construction in the hood to how the kids’ are doing at x,y, & z….tips on my time goals for the fall marathon and then, bam, no reason at all…I just started feeling like hell.  We were not going fast at all, & I thought my stomach was going to drop out from beneath me, on top of the fact I was sweating buckets…bigger than my normal buckets. I looked at her & barely a glisten. What the hell is wrong with me?

Long story short, we do finish the run, but after it, I still didn’t feel well. Nauseous to the point I thought I might throw up or possibly stay on my porch steps for the rest of the morning. I can’t explain it…everything points to why I should have had at least a decent & comfortable run (other than the rainforest-like conditions).

Sometimes, there is no reason. Really…you are conditioned, you are hydrated, you have some fuel…& you just have a bad run. This is not an indication of what is to come…it’s just a part of the process. Running training has its’ peaks & lows & ebbs & curves throughout…some quite predictable & some leaving you doubting your training. It just is what it is.

So I had a less than stellar run. I can learn from it (coffee & wine not good hydration, snacks could always use some tweaking… more protein & less kid crap, & again, stretching & yoga would probably make everything feel better)….or I can dwell on it & doubt everything from my conditioning, my natural abilities versus my potential & just give up.

I choose to learn & move on. I have the good fortune of being surrounded by amazing athletes, runners, nutritionists, & trainers….all at my fingertips. So I turn to my team of people that keep me going, keep me informed, & keep me in check in general.  And then, I will file that run away as just another one down for the books.

I am chasing freedom & running from fear all the time. I think that’s kind of how life is. It doesn’t matter if you run or not. Sometimes you are not going at the pace you know you are capable of doing & sometimes you just feel like you are wasting your time. You might even want to give up. But you can’t. You have to keep moving forward…because let’s face it…like life, some days you win some & some days you lose some….but as long as you keep a positive attitude, assess mistakes & learn from them, &  most importantly, continue moving forward… one foot in front of the other…and repeat….

 Running training is like life…some days it will kick your ass & try to beat you down, but there will be other days, those days when you will have that moment, that sweet moment where it all falls into line…and all of it makes it worthwhile…the good, the bad, the journey along the way….one foot in front of the other.

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