Some might call it a fault others an asset...I don't like to be told I cannot do something...and I don't mean this in the Type A, overbearing, uptight way...I'm the farthest from that. But, when it comes to whether I can accomplish a task, a goal, a challenge...I refuse to back down, despite the odds against me.
Most recently, as I hobble around these past few days...I am wondering if it's biting me in the ass...or more literally, the achilles. A few years back, a friend in a very non-controversial/very matter of fact manner commented that I was not built to be a runner. Clearly, I would never be fast with my broad shoulders and muscular build. While maybe his observation is not that far off, this comment was still hurtful and it fueled some major fire in various runs and races.
Every time I am out on the road, I think of that comment...when I am dead exhausted, struggling out there, I remember what he said & I get angry & forge forward, running stronger, and faster. Every road race I've participated in, when the going gets tough, I hear that comment and it pushes me forward.
Which brings me to today...limping around the house, about more than halfway through my marathon training...at this point, I have already held a funeral for my speed. Now, I"m just hoping to finish the training, the race, and not rupture my achilles completely. And I am brought back to that comment...and it makes me feel defeated...well,almost....but not quite....
Why? Because my own children come to mind. The reality is, I am 5'10 and my husband is 6'2...chances are, we just might not produce any Olympic gymnasts. My girls, however, are obsessed with gymnastics. They spend hours flipping their long legs over their heads....dreaming of Olympic gold while I have to bite my tongue from telling them genetically speaking, it's probably not going to happen. Maybe they will defy the odds...though deep down I know they have a better shot at being the next Misty May and Carrie Walsh (American beach volleyball queens)....it's not my dream to crush...why limit them?
There is going to be a time when someone you know, love or are acquainted with is going to dream big. They will share this with you...it may be to run a marathon, start a business, or travel the world by boat...you have an opportunity. Do you want to be someone that puts limits on them? Or do you want to encourage growth?
I've decided that not only do I want to be that person that grows flowers instead of weeds for my children, but I want to be that person for myself. And so I continue the good fight...broad shoulders, tight achilles & all...I might go down, but I won't go down without a fight & I sure as hell won't let someone else limit my dreams.
- What started as a little experiment in blogging has evolved into my renewed love for writing the raw, gritty truth. Running has always had so many parallels to life's ups and downs. As a new cancer survivor/fighter, running and writing has continued to be there for me in my quest to always move forward, always try to be better than yesterday. Find me: http://www.curetoday.com/community/kate or on facebook: running, cancer, and everything in between or on twitter: runliftbreathe