The start and how I picked myself up to continue the run....

Four years ago, I decided I was going to run my very 1st marathon so that I could qualify for the Boston Marathon and finally check that off my bucket list. I wanted to document my journey as a runner as I evolved from a runner who had never ran more than 14 miles at a time to someone who would attempt the impossible: BQ at my 1st attempt.  

That is how this blog was started. 

I wanted to document this journey of training and turning myself into "a real runner." I was so naive and brazen and ballsy. Looking back, I cannot believe that I had the audacity to set out and try to do something that is very difficult for seasoned distance runners, let alone a washed up volleyball player posing as a distance runner.

I also reinvented myself back into a writer along the way. At one point in my life, I had wanted to be a journalist. I don't know specifically where all the nos came from that prompted me to quit that way back when, but once I started writing again...some 20 years later, it was like I never stopped, My skill was rusty, but my passion was lit again almost immediately.

This was a big period of time when I felt like the girl I was meant to be all along. That girl was fearless and truly did not care what anyone thought of her. She most certainly did not shy away from a few well placed "fucks" in her blogs or in her day to day conversations with people either. That girl would never back down from a challenge, and she would not let assholes push her around or treat her like a door mat. She went big every single time...and only after going big did she go home.

I miss that girl.

Somewhere along the way this past year or maybe two or three...I have lost my way.

Maybe it was that 55% survival rate...(I like that it is a more full cup than empty, but let's face it, I am a perfectionist, 100% would have been so much better)

Or even worse, when the universe fucked with one of my babies....

Maybe we can only handle so much until we break...

Maybe some of us run until we can no longer run anymore....

Maybe some of us drink until we cannot drink anymore....

Maybe we eat until we are so stuffed we are empty...

Maybe some of us create the picture perfect Pinterest version of how we think we are suppose to be, look, act...like a fucking Hallmark card....

Or maybe we write until we get through all those layers....tripping, stumbling and swearing our newly found Irish faces off (amazing the things you can find out in a modern DNA spit test)....

I don't think I am the only out there going through their own growing pains as they roll through the punches and take their victory laps.

It might take me the rest of my life to get through these layers that I have managed to build up these past couple of years. But I will get back to where I want to be and who I want to be...the whole me, not just the version you think you know. And frankly, if you don't like her, I might kindly give you the Irish goodbye and be on my way down this so called journey called life.

And that is how this blog continued to move on. Until next time....