Youth Sports: why we as parents should be cut from the team

There is a phenomenon going on with youth sports that just completely blows my mind. We as parents have all gone bat shit crazy and are to blame for this demented culture of what it means to play a youth sport. Our fixation on competitive youth sports has transcended to a whole new level of obsession, and our children are the ones who are going to lose. 

As parents we share Olympic dreams with our little ski racer who wants to be the next Mikaela. I mean she does podium often even if she is only 10, and even though we are in the middle of nowhere New Hampshire, it could happen. While we are at it, our son is likely to be the next Messi. He is only 11, but his skills and passion for the sport are beyond his age so he must be the next it, after all, he did make that development team and is "playing up."

I have three children who all play three sports (at least they still do thus far) so I have sat on many a bleachers, fields, turfs and stood at finishes. I am beginning to think we as parents have completely lost our sense of reality. I find myself more and more, standing alone because I cannot take the conversations and comments I hear from parents, and many are coming from some great parents.

What is scary is the statistics are out there for all to read, google or ask Alexa. About 7% of high school athletes will play a varsity sport in college and less than 2% will play at a NCAA Division 1 school. I am no mathematician but those percentages are pretty crystal clear. Either that, or we all have phenoms paving their way to a college scholarship...

Part of the problem is the shift in what it takes to play your sport in high school. The business models our coaches have created to make money (good for them, I am all for capitalism) funneling in our young athletes to every skills camp, development team and club team. I know in my town, if you want to play a particular sport (I won't name here) for the high school, you best be playing for that club team year round that oh by the way, the coach runs. There is always an exception of a good player who does not play the sport year round, but for the most part, the numbers are there. You start in the feeder system as a youth, and before you know it, you are playing year round, period or you don't play by the time you get to high school.  

Another shift is the model of the three sport athlete. They are an anomaly. If by chance your child still plays three sports, be prepared not only for the overlap but the pressure from the coaches on your child to fully commit if he/she wants to play for them or be stuck on the B team. I have fought this hard and for now, my girls have made out okay. They play soccer in the fall, ski race in the winter, and yes...when spring starts (& ski racing ends), they play Lacrosse. For me, this keeps them busy and active. For them, they love all three of their sports & being well rounded athletes, their preferred sport is usually the one they are in season for until it changes to the next. I actually think this is healthy but many people would disagree. 

What is most puzzling is that with all our resources and education, we seem to know less and less. On any given day on social media, a new article or blog is shared discussing youth sports and the downside of what is happening with our society. Yet we still have this culture of parents who fixate on sport and recreation at all costs.  I see many articles coming from different sources discussing in great depth how our young athletes are getting hurt with overuse injuries from playing one sport year round. I have also seen first hand kids who are getting emotionally burnt out by the time they enter high school and want nothing to do with the sport. There are also the parents putting all their pennies into their child's one focused sport, the whole pay anything at all costs to try to get their child ahead of the game. I just don't get it. 

Where are we going with this if we are not prepping our kids to play beyond high school? My answer to that is simple. We are keeping our kids busy and active so when they are teens, they are on their devices a little less, and we actually know that they aren't somewhere vaping, doing drugs and having sex because they are at practice or at a tournament or competition. Some of these kids may move on to play their sport in high school, but that is not a given either. 

Don't get me wrong, I love sports. I was a part of that small percentage who played in college. I wouldn't trade that for the world. But I know what I really love is watching my children be happy. If playing soccer, adds to their happiness, then, I want them playing. If ski racing is their love, and they still want to do it despite knowing they are not going to be the next Lindsay, then, that is cool too. 

There are so many life lessons that participating in a sports teach. It, however, appears that the parents are the ones who need a reminder of those important life lessons.

Maybe I am okay with participation trophies after all...because the whole point is to play because it is fun.