Three Mondays ago, I was running the Boston Marathon. Two Mondays ago, I got the call that my biopsy was positive. This past Monday, I got up, ran, brought kids to school, went to work...etc, etc...except this past Monday I knew I had cancer.
Life continued to go on, as did I as I plowed through my normalcies of the day...all the while waiting for the end of the week...when I would go to the hospital to have my pet scans...checking to see if the cancer had spread to my vital organs.
I've always ran from things...when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer...I ran. When I dated a guy with a drinking problem...I ran. When I couldn't look in the mirror without seeing imperfection...I ran.
I ran yesterday when I couldn't stay in control of my emotions...that pendulum you swing on when you've been told it's positive...going back and forth from fear for my kids to brave, I'm going to kick this cancer's ass...to just plain annoyance because I don't have time for this.
I can't run away from this one. I have to face it head on...I will continue to run because that's what I do...but I won't run away from my feelings of being scared, frustrated, & annoyed.
I also won't run away from the world and pretend like this isn't happening. It is...and I will run to as many people as I can and maybe my embracing and running towards the truth will help them save someone they love or themselves.
Today is Thursday night....I found out just a bit ago that my pet scans look clear. I do know I still have some hurdles to run towards face on...a surgery or two...and those results will dictate the path of treatment. I won't be able to run for a little bit after these surgeries...but I will still be running, hurdling each step as I come to it.
- What started as a little experiment in blogging has evolved into my renewed love for writing the raw, gritty truth. Running has always had so many parallels to life's ups and downs. As a new cancer survivor/fighter, running and writing has continued to be there for me in my quest to always move forward, always try to be better than yesterday. Find me: http://www.curetoday.com/community/kate or on facebook: running, cancer, and everything in between or on twitter: runliftbreathe