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What started as a little experiment in blogging has evolved into my renewed love for writing the raw, gritty truth. Running has always had so many parallels to life's ups and downs. As a new cancer survivor/fighter, running and writing has continued to be there for me in my quest to always move forward, always try to be better than yesterday. Find me: http://www.curetoday.com/community/kate or on facebook: running, cancer, and everything in between or on twitter: runliftbreathe

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

The "B Team"

I am officially designated to the "B team"...the nail that sealed it was tonight dropping off my child to the all school 4th & 5th grade chorus concert...in my workout clothes, disheveled, & not wearing the same painted, cheery, this is so great smile on my face. This pretty much sums up how I've been feeling with my running and my duties as a mother lately...demoted...kicked off the A team.

Right now, running wise...I'm nowhere near where I have been before. Rewind to a fall marathon that I  nailed including a BQ...my running life has gone down hill from there. Between a nagging injury that is holding me back and perhaps my sinking confidence, I've kicked myself off the "A team." I am no longer running with the group of ladies I have been the past 3 years...make no mistake, not because they wouldn't embrace the slower, hurting me...but because I'm just not ready for that pace of running...physically and mentally.

It has been a humbling experience for me...running alone, at a much slower pace, and nowhere near the weekly mileage I was putting in before. But I am doing the best I can & am slowly building up my strength. I have to remind myself that no one really cares about the pace I'm doing out there, it doesn't matter...the point is, I am out there...doing the best I can with what I have got right now. I'm still participating...

Then, take the sport of being a mother...shipping kids back & forth all day after school & after a 6-7 hour workday...and  trying to take care of myself also...I've about thrown the towel in. Teacher appreciation day? Sorry, no baked goods from me...bake sale for Girl Scouts...no can do. And tonight, the ultimate...I opted out of that concert...kissed my daughter, dropped her off & then, came home to pass the keys to my husband & tell him he would be the starter tonight...B team bring it on...

But maybe there isn't anything wrong with being on the B team if  you are doing the best you can with what you have got at that moment...some days that "all" may land you a starting position on the A team...getting all the housework done, cooking a brilliantly healthy meal while sending in a fabulous treat for the class, all after running a PR in a race....and other days, shuffling your feet around trying to get back home and then, serving up another "breakfast for dinner"....

Maybe for now, the B team is where I belong, it sure beats being completely benched...after all, I am still participating, doing all the things I love to do...out on the road and at home with my family...even if it means the occasional PB&J post slow girl shuffle....

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